Epiphany

As i get older and travel on this road of life, I become more in tuned with my mind, my body, and my soul. I discover things about myself and others that i might not have before if I didn't have experiences, positive and negative, to go by. I've taken something different from all of the schools I attended:Westhaven Elementary, DoubleTree Elementary, John P. Freeman, Chisholm Trail Intermediate, Fossil Hill Middle, Snowden, Central, and Tennessee State University, all the friends I've had over the years, the celebs I've met, the secret late night conversations in high school, the walks of shame....each place, each event, each encounter, I took something from it. I remember in afterschool care when a little cutie tried to get me to go back outside and kiss him behind the tree in 5th grade and little did we both know that that moment wouldn't come until 8 years later. I remember my first kiss, it was a white guy, at the end of 6th grade in Ft. Worth on the last day of school in front of a huge crowd. I remember going to a new school in 6th grade and riding the big cheese for the first time. I remember going to a new school in the middle of 8th grade and winning the Spelling Bee like the second or third day I was there, because the original participant go into a fight. I remember when I went to my first prom in 10th grade with a senior and my parents didn't have money to buy me a dress, so I borrowed one and had the time of my life. I remember the first time i had sex..it was a month before my 17th birthday and i looked at the clock on the wall, because I was so nervous. I remember when fell outside and a screw went in my knee...I still have the mark to prove it. All of these experiences and many,many more allowed me to have a deep conversation with myself the other day. I thought wow after everything that has happened, whether I or you or anyone else likes it or not, it has all combined to build me into who I am today. And so arose this Epiphany. I realized that 1 no one is going to care as much about my career as I am. 2, I have to believe in myself when no one else does, because at the end of today I am accountable for myself and my future. 3, I also finally mastered that "what is meant to be, will be" and that "everything happens for a reason". 4, I am finally 100% over the person who had my heart back and forth for many,many years. 5, I am 100% over the person that honest to GOD on the former path that he and I were on, I thought we would get married. 6, I am ok with not being married by 27, if it means that I get to marry a man that is completely in tune with my mind, body, and soul, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. 7, I have started to tip the see-saw and find that i an be very attracted to milk chocolate men. 8, I went to Hollywood for a job and left with more than i can ask for. 9, the heart tells no tales and you can't help whom you are attracted to or who you love. 10, there is "something" that is 2,020 miles away from me that at first thought I was upset to discover info about that I am now proud to say that I know and look forward to seeing what happens with "it"(shame i had to travel that far to learn that lesson). 11, you never who is keeping up with you or for what reasons. 12, my past will never be just that, because someway, somehow it finds its way in my presence...it's just a matter of capacity. So when all is said and done the choices we make for ourselves at a certain point and time are justified at that moment but don't think that they may not creep back up to your future. Cause my past sure did find me and I kinda like it

You're A ____ ... I Know

Omg! So anybody who knows me knows that I don't go out out that often anymore... or at least not like i used to. Many reasons for that, but that's neither here no there. So many of my friends ragged on me because I was like "yo..I wanna go see the New Boyz when they come to Nashville". They laughed and laughed and said there would be nothing but kids there... which they were probably right about, but still I wanted to go and get my "jerk" on! So last Saturday got here and i decided to hang with a good friend and go to the show. Of course I went through 4 outfits before I made a final decision. And in true TCB fashion, I dressed to blend in with the crowd via Skinny Jeans wit some bangin kicks that included neon colors and a shirt too match...yeah i was "BAD"! lol So of course they had these whack azz opening acts that the station big wigs loved but didnt appeal to the concert goers. So shortly after the 10 pm hour BenJ and Legacy showed up. Once they arrived it was clear that there were borrowed security for the night, cause they didnt know i had All-Access and tried to keep me from going in their waiting area..umm no, i wanted to pull a T.I.-U Dont Know Me move. Once we got past that...Now i know what ya'll gon say..them ninjaz some lil boys cause they 18 and all....but they are the cutest lil 18 year olds out right now, especially that Legacy fella. He was a cutie patootie. Of course in true krunk-a-licious fashion the New Boyz came out to "All The Way Turnt Up" and the crowd was hype, and of course some super over aged 26+ year old drunk azz white chick stepped on my Nike's :-( but beyond that the show was great. I had flashbacks of my first B2K concert when i saw all them lil girls screaming and crying and grabbing on them. Ahhh, the memories!!! So afterwards they had a special meet-n-greet for a select few people where they signed autographs and took photos. And of course after the show is PARTY time..so after a few more events which i can't mention, that were interesting, hilarious, and unsurprising nonetheless, we finally made it to Barflys..3 cars deep. This was the one time it sucked to drive because of course they got let out first and i had to find a place to park, which was damn near a disaster until i saw the Marketplace Apartments with there gate open..ching,ching..park an make the 3 block walk..mini NYC it felt like.So of course no one can hear their phone or the battery its dead. Luckily Mr. Security man came back to the door after only 5 minutes of waiting and took me straight on stage where the rest of the crew was Legacy, BenJ, Marc, Big Cheese, Angel, and the rest of New Boyz and Baby Bash's crew. I didnt realize Barfly was that live inside..but it was.. and Grey Goose was live and in full effect upon arrival! Shots on Demand!!whew..lol fast forward to 4 am once i got home and hit the bed too hard..and thats the end....juicy tidbits, body language, gestures, phone calls, and text messages EXCLUDED :-)

oh yeah and shout out to The Erica Elle Show

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ICONIC

Michael Jackson our love for you started during your "CHILDHOOD". You were "BAD" from the beginning. You gifted the "EARTH SONG" and attempted to
"HEAL THE WORLD" through your music. It didn't matter what type of lady you danced with, whether "BLACK OR WHITE" or even a
"LIBERIAN GIRL" color is all the same when
"BLOOD IS ON THE DANCE FLOOR". The haters always
"WANNA BE STARTIN SOMETHIN" but will "ROCK WITH YOU" all night, dancing to their "JAM", but we know
"THEY DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT US". But for me
"YOU ROCK MY WORLD" and
"I JUST CAN'T STOP LOVING YOU" and it was just "HUMAN NATURE" that your music was just "ANOTHER PART OF ME".We always knew that "BILLIE JEAN" was not your lover, because ol' "DIRTY DIANA" was the one that gave you "BUTTERFLIES". Critics labeled you as "DANGEROUS" if you were around young boys, but at least they could have deemed you a "SMOOTH CRIMINAL" instead of Wacko Jacko. Plenty of times we've all wanted to run "IN THE CLOSET" and say "LEAVE ME ALONE" just
"BEAT IT", but
"YOU ARE NOT ALONE". With news today, the mind set is
"DON'T STOP TIL YOU GET ENOUGH" and all over the world we had to "CRY" upon learning of your death, because we felt you were
"GONE TOO SOON".

You were never "INVINCIBLE", you were an "OFF THE WALL" kind of guy, "BEN" and all his friends knew it. You truly made "HIStory" like no other. I said if your funeral took place while I was alive, that I "GOT TO BE THERE".

It's been a "THRILLER" having you,through the good and the "BAD" and you will be in out hearts "FOREVER,MICHAEL".


© 2009 Theryn C., Nashville, TN 37211