Epiphany

As i get older and travel on this road of life, I become more in tuned with my mind, my body, and my soul. I discover things about myself and others that i might not have before if I didn't have experiences, positive and negative, to go by. I've taken something different from all of the schools I attended:Westhaven Elementary, DoubleTree Elementary, John P. Freeman, Chisholm Trail Intermediate, Fossil Hill Middle, Snowden, Central, and Tennessee State University, all the friends I've had over the years, the celebs I've met, the secret late night conversations in high school, the walks of shame....each place, each event, each encounter, I took something from it. I remember in afterschool care when a little cutie tried to get me to go back outside and kiss him behind the tree in 5th grade and little did we both know that that moment wouldn't come until 8 years later. I remember my first kiss, it was a white guy, at the end of 6th grade in Ft. Worth on the last day of school in front of a huge crowd. I remember going to a new school in 6th grade and riding the big cheese for the first time. I remember going to a new school in the middle of 8th grade and winning the Spelling Bee like the second or third day I was there, because the original participant go into a fight. I remember when I went to my first prom in 10th grade with a senior and my parents didn't have money to buy me a dress, so I borrowed one and had the time of my life. I remember the first time i had sex..it was a month before my 17th birthday and i looked at the clock on the wall, because I was so nervous. I remember when fell outside and a screw went in my knee...I still have the mark to prove it. All of these experiences and many,many more allowed me to have a deep conversation with myself the other day. I thought wow after everything that has happened, whether I or you or anyone else likes it or not, it has all combined to build me into who I am today. And so arose this Epiphany. I realized that 1 no one is going to care as much about my career as I am. 2, I have to believe in myself when no one else does, because at the end of today I am accountable for myself and my future. 3, I also finally mastered that "what is meant to be, will be" and that "everything happens for a reason". 4, I am finally 100% over the person who had my heart back and forth for many,many years. 5, I am 100% over the person that honest to GOD on the former path that he and I were on, I thought we would get married. 6, I am ok with not being married by 27, if it means that I get to marry a man that is completely in tune with my mind, body, and soul, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. 7, I have started to tip the see-saw and find that i an be very attracted to milk chocolate men. 8, I went to Hollywood for a job and left with more than i can ask for. 9, the heart tells no tales and you can't help whom you are attracted to or who you love. 10, there is "something" that is 2,020 miles away from me that at first thought I was upset to discover info about that I am now proud to say that I know and look forward to seeing what happens with "it"(shame i had to travel that far to learn that lesson). 11, you never who is keeping up with you or for what reasons. 12, my past will never be just that, because someway, somehow it finds its way in my presence...it's just a matter of capacity. So when all is said and done the choices we make for ourselves at a certain point and time are justified at that moment but don't think that they may not creep back up to your future. Cause my past sure did find me and I kinda like it